Microsoft admits Windows Updates principally created to annoyQuote:Microsoft has admitted that its regular software updates are ‘pranks’ largely generated by bored or frustrated programmers. The admission, which follows a three-year investigation by a special US Congressional Committee, has merely confirmed what many computer experts have been saying for some time.
Nigel Drake, a software analyst with Drayton Mann, said: ‘Honestly, when was the last time you actually downloaded a ‘critical’ update or patch from Microsoft, and it made any difference to anything you were doing? The screen doesn’t change, it doesn’t go any faster, it doesn’t stop getting attacked by viruses, it doesn’t boot up quicker, in fact if anything it gets slower and then your whole screen goes black.’
The updates, which are simultaneously offered to users in 82 countries, are programmed to make their presence known in a variety of annoying ways – as soon as the machine is switched on; before the machine can be switched off or in the case of modern Windows systems as soon as the machine detects the user is engaged in any activity of importance or interest.
‘Windows Updates are not compulsory,’ said a Microsoft spokesperson, ‘and the user has the option of simply switching off the prompts and ignoring them.’ However, Paul Strickland, who recently purchased Microsoft’s new Windows 7 package, said that when he turned off alerts and ignored updates he noticed that events took a sinister turn. ‘At first it was just harmlessly irritating, as usual. I’d get a message saying ‘you’ve turned off alerts’ every time I used the machine. Then when I was working it would randomly flash up ‘hey, you’re missing out on important updates’. A little later the machine began unexpectedly crashing, and I got a message saying ‘you were warned’.
The next day my wife’s car was mysteriously run off the road by a strange black utility vehicle, and I found that all evidence of my existence, bank details, driving licence… had been completely wiped off every database on earth. It might just have been an innocent glitch, but all I know is that when I switched the alerts back on everything returned to normal. So now I consider the endless pop-ups, flashing icons, warning gong sounds or system freezes a small price to pay for my family’s safety.’
Microsoft has turned down all interview requests, and has put the case in the hands of its lawyers, Munro Gibson. A partner at the firm issued a statement on his client’s behalf, which said, ‘While Microsoft regrets that Windows Updates serve no useful purpose other than providing a safety valve for people driven slowly mad by writing endless code, we deny any wrongdoing. We feel it only fair to add that we are aware of where you live and how old is little Katie now, she must be, what, about five years old? They’re so vulnerable at that age.’
Thoughts?
Yeh thats what I thought.
What do you think about it? I'm not yet sure.
Well obviously half of it is just a made up story... I wouldn't believe any of this, and know the updates are for a specific purpose. You can read exactly what each one is for...
This is complete BS
(12-03-2009 03:52 PM)GT4AWD Wrote: [ -> ]Well obviously half of it is just a made up story... I wouldn't believe any of this, and know the updates are for a specific purpose. You can read exactly what each one is for...
Well yeh its obvious that the part about windows 7 was just sarcasm, but what about the rest? Although if it where true it would probably be
everywhere and not just on that one site [did anyone search this?]. However if it is true then they could have made up what they where for. Realistically, it probably costs lots of money running all those servers so surly they wouldn't be doing that just to keep some programmers from getting bored. So with those points in mind, I agree with no2. Now perhaps they aren't as important as M$ claims, but I doubt that they are doing it to annoy users or "entertain" employees. Besides that the main claimed reason is to busy the programmers and not to annoy users as the title suggests.
That's just satire in my opinion, albeit good satire.
From the thread I found this on:
Quote:Sure wish I could find the original source at Microsoft or any US Congressional Committee record of that. Every where I look points back to that one NewsBiscuit article (or you, Broni 
). Too bad NewBiscuit would not cite its source. But then its subtitle is "The news before it happens..." - whatever that means. Makes me wonder if this unnamed "Microsoft spokesperson" is real or still, if ever, employed by MS. And why couldn't the NewsBiscuit article writer use his real name? Darkbill? 
The article seems to focus on these updates not improving performance - that's not what most are for. Most are to patch vulnerabilities that someone discovered and slammed MS for the previous month!
No doubt the urgency of some updates were questionable, but pushing out updates all the time does not make Microsoft or their products look good. They know that. Therefore pushing even more out just for fun, or as "pranks!" does not make any sense.
The article smells fishy to me.
This is the same site that came up with
Experts agree boy’s failure to ask teenage girl out probably is the end of the world
I was certain it was BS as Microsoft would never outright admit that they perform an action just to irritate the user. On top of that, although catastrophic when buggy, Microsoft Updates are extremely important.
By the way townsbg, you need to find another news source.
Thanks,
For reporting that.. Windows Update feels like a virus.. I updated mine once (never again).. As soon as I did, I lost the battery icon... Then I said couldn't hurt to update again, then my computer would stop shutting down half way..
I always have mine to automatically update. Both my OS and my Antivirus software automatically update.
While, I got messed on an auto-update so I turned it off.
I have it notify me. I don't like auto update.
I don't like to be interrupted with notifications. I don't like it always prompting me to restart because of the automatic updates either, but I find it to be less annoying.
While.. I turned notifications off. Because I barely go online ever. (on that comp). (accept IF high speed gets installed tommorow)..
So.. I need the speed whenever I go online with that system!
Ah, do you have dialup? I had dialup for many years. It is definitely not a fun experience.
I would rather not have the internet. The net isn't designed for it anymore.
No it isn't, but it beats not having anything. Actually, it beats my satellite internet when I've gone over the cap.
